Why is it hard to stay in the moment?

By Ger O'Malley

Why is it that no matter how evolved we think we are, or how deeply connected we feel to

our true selves, there are still times when living in the present moment feels nearly

impossible? Our minds race, our sense of humour goes into hiding, and our energy and

enthusiasm for life waivers.

Sometimes we can pinpoint a reason…or reasons for this. Maybe we are faced with a

challenging situation, dealing with a loss of some sort, struggling with a health issue, or

reeling from a disagreement with someone close to us? But just as often, there is no clear

cause for our struggle to stay in the moment.

So, what pulls us away from being present and pushes us into this state of disconnect?

Our brains are wired for survival, which means we are constantly scanning for potential

threats or opportunities. This evolutionary trait makes it difficult to remain fully present,

because part of our mind is always planning for the future or analysing the past. Even when

we consciously try to be mindful, our thoughts naturally drift towards to-do lists, our worries

or regrets. In a sense, our brain’s default mode is one of movement…always looking ahead or looking back, and rarely resting in the now.

We live in a world that encourages distraction. We are bombarded with endless streams of

information and opinions. Our minds have become conditioned to jump from one thought to the next, making sustained presence feel almost unnatural. It can be quite overwhelming and unsettling. Slowing down and simply being can feel like a challenge when everything

around us encourages speed and productivity. And yet we cling to the illusion of control. We convince ourselves that by planning

and preparing for worst-case scenarios, or going over and analysing past experiences, we can somehow control our circumstances. We can obsess over the news, worry about the state of the world, and stress over things far beyond our influence. We may also form opinions that we can become quite entrenched in. This illusion of control keeps us mentally engaged elsewhere, making it difficult to fully inhabit the moment. The irony is that in our attempt to maintain some kind of control, we can lose our grip on the only thing we truly have…the present.

So what can we do? Ironically, the more we try to force ourselves to live in the moment, the

more elusive it can become. Presence isn’t something we can demand from ourselves...it’s

something we have to allow. When we overthink mindfulness, or pressure ourselves to be in

the now, we’re already stepping out of the moment by analysing it.

The good news is that while our minds may resist being in the present, we can train ourselves to return to it. Small, simple practices such as deep breathing, mindfulness, gratitude, and

conscious awareness can help anchor us in the now. Instead of forcing ourselves to be

present, we can simply notice that we have drifted…become a bit scattered. The key is not to judge ourselves for wandering, but to recognise that we have, and gently allow ourselves to come back into our skin. In the end, presence isn’t about perfection…it’s about awareness and practice.

Ger O'Malley is a creative native of Ireland and is a fellow who always embraces his artistic side, expressing it through his songwriting, music, playwriting, and prose. One of his more recent projects is a podcast called 'I think I've met you(but also know I haven’t)' which explores the nature of reality. He is currently writing a YA novel and has just completed two children's books based on Irish mythology.